But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
