i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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