that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
