Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
