what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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