it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
