You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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