You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't deserve a penis
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
