it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
