Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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