We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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