I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
