Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
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TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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