First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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