friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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