Im at strip club and am horny
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
