jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize