How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
