I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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