I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i've created a new STD.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
