I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
