Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
