Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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