Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize