i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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