Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
