So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
