Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
