Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize