There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
