I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
