I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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