I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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