Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Did you just see the Batmobile???
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
