Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
