if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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