Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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