after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
