Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
