With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
