You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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