I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
