it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
