I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
