ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
