I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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