Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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