I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
