Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
