kristin has been a bad kristin
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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