Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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