I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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