and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
