she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
