In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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