well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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