it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
