Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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