Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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