I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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