you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
