i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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