The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
